


Fallen Angels, So Fast To Kill

by QueenOfNewOrleans22



Category: Mötley Crüe
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Night Terrors, Past Child Abuse, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:54:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28004997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfNewOrleans22/pseuds/QueenOfNewOrleans22
Summary: Nikki couldn't sleep.He was restless, anxious, torn between biting at his torn fingernails and attempting to get some sleep, no matter how futile that attempt might've been. A small part of Nikki hated the anxiety, but another part of him was grateful for it, because it provided a welcome excuse to sidle out of Mick's warm embrace and into the bitterly cold air.
Relationships: Mick Mars/Nikki Sixx
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	Fallen Angels, So Fast To Kill

Nikki couldn't sleep. 

He was restless, anxious, torn between biting at his torn fingernails and attempting to get some sleep, no matter how futile that attempt might've been. A small part of Nikki hated the anxiety, but another part of him was grateful for it, because it provided a welcome excuse to sidle out of Mick's warm embrace and into the bitterly cold air. 

For a minute, Mick almost looked like he was going to wake up, but he only let out a sleepy mumble and uncomfortably shifted around, one of his arms reaching out unconsciously for a warm body that was no longer there before it fell back onto his chest. 

Quiet as a church mouse, Nikki paused and stared at Mick, awaiting for some sort of question, for those dark eyes to flutter open, but nothing came. Nikki wasn't sure whether or not to be offended by that or not, and instead settled to be happy, because he needed some time to be alone. 

In the darkness of their hotel room, it was hard for Nikki to find his way to the bathroom, but he did, after a few moments of awkward wandering, and he stepped inside, shivering as the cold air hit his bare arms. Nikki turned on the faucet, cupping his hands underneath the water, ducking down so he could drench his face. Looking back up, his face still dripping with water, Nikki stared at the hollow face that stared back. 

Mick loved Nikki's eyes - he always said so. He was always talking about how it was Nikki's best feature, _"And considering what you look like, that means your eyes are pretty special",_ but at that moment, in the freezing bathroom of some old hotel, there was only a dull, dirty green. 

"Best feature, my ass." Nikki muttered, feeling irrationally angry at the thought, knowing that it was stupid, but being unable to help it. He ran his hand through the messy clumps of his hair, still caked with leftover hair spray, and frowned, almost as if challenging the reflection as it stared back. 

The mirror was cracked, and a part of it ran across Nikki's face. 

It felt strangely symbolic, and Nikki hated it - fucking _loathed_ it, and he grit his teeth, looking back down at the water as it splashed around in the sink. He took a deep, reassuring breathe, and then shut the water off, wiping his hands on the towel that was hanging from the rack before leaving the bathroom, shutting the door as he went. 

Nikki walked back into the bedroom, his socked feet soundless on the carpet as he slipped back into bed. The springs poked into his skin uncomfortably, and the pillow smelt like mildew, but Mick was warm, and Nikki wrapped his arm around the guitarist, taking comfort that, in this night, at least, he wasn't alone. 

\-- 

_There was smoke in the air, and the thick, heavy smell of whiskey._

_Frank could hear his mother sobbing - "Why can't you love me?" - she screamed, but in the very depths of his heart, Frank couldn't find it within himself to feel pity for her, not after all she'd done._

_"Because you drive me crazy!" Roy yelled back, and just as those words came to life, there was the distinct sound of glass smashing against the wall._

_Despite his initial calmness, Frank flinched, and he glanced at the door, praying to whatever God there may be to let Roy just go to the bar, to just leave. Frank looked down at the floor, and saw a stray splinter sticking up from the wood, and he picked it with the edges of his fingernails, pulling it up and out._

_The splinter was small, almost tiny, and it shivered in Frank's grasp._

_"Then leave!" Deanna screamed. "Leave! Go!" She was still crying._

_Frank looked at the door again, silent, wondering if going out the window was worth the punishment later. It would only delay the inevitable, but such gifts were worth the price of pain._

_"You think I'm gonna leave? After all I've done for this family?" Roy yelled._

_"This isn't a family!" Deanna screamed._

_"I'm not gonna take this shit, from you, of all people." Roy said, and the wood creaked underneath his heavy boots. The stairs were old, and they were so noisy even under the slightest weight._

_Frank's heart lurched, so badly that it hurt. He looked up at the door, at the wall, and knew what was coming. A small part of Frank told him to lock the door, but it would do no good._

_That would only make it worse._

_The door slammed open, and it hit the wall loudly, undoubtedly leaving a large hole in its wake. Roy was a large man, and his shadow was like that of a giant. "There you are." He said, and his lips peeled back from his teeth in a snarl. "Look at you, hiding up here like a little pussy."_

_Frank pressed his lips thin, and only gazed at him. Fight or flight? He didn't know._

_Slowly, almost teasingly, Roy undid his belt. "Are you gonna fight?" He asked quietly. "Or run, like a little coward?"_

_There were no words that could be said, no actions that could be done, nothing that would save Frank Ferrana from this nighrmare. He only stared, too-big green eyes and black bangs, a child, lost, without innocence._

_Roy walked foward, snapping his belt tauntingly. "You're gonna run, aren't you?"_

_The whole world seemed to be going in slow motion._

_"Fuck you."" Frank whispered._

_Pain - blinding and fierce._

_Frank gasped, resisting the urge to reach up and cradle his shoulder, which was burning in complaint from the lashing._

_"What'd you say to me?" Roy demanded._

_"Fuck. You." Frank said._

_Roy snarled, and he let his arm come down again, this time onto Frank's back._

_A startled yelp slipped past Frank's lips, and he leaned foward, hands clenched into fists._

_"You wanna say that again?" Roy said._

_"Fuck you!" Frank screamed, his voice cracking on the way out._

_And again, and again, and again, like a broken record. The belt felt like a hot poker being slammed onto Frank's body, and each hit sent sparks of pain throughout his body. On the final hit, a wetness became apparent, and Frank knew that he was bleeding._

_But yet, when Roy bent down, and demanded - "So, what was that again?", Frank didn't hold back._

_"Fuck you." Frank hissed, voice hoarse, eyes burning with tears that had yet to shed._

_Roy abandoned the belt, grabbing Frank by his throat and pushing him to the ground, constricting his breathing, rendering him helpless. Roy pressed his weight down on Frank's chest, slamming his abused body down onto the ground. "You little bastard." Roy snarled. "Useless little fuck."_

_Frank gasped for breathe, wrenching at Roy's fingers, hate and desperation, panic and fear, hurt and misery._

_\--_

_"_ Fuck you!" Nikki screamed, clawing at his throat desperately, gasping for breathe, panicked but not yet awake. 

Mick grabbed Nikki's hands, clutching them tightly within his own. "It's just a dream." He hurried to say. "Just a useless little dream. It's not real. Not anymore."

A bitter, hoarse sob tore from Nikki's throat. "Fuck you...fuck you..." He repeated, caught in the effects of his nightmare. "Fuck you..." 

"Neither of them can hurt you anymore." Mick said. 

\-- 

" _You're the reason he hates me!" Deanna screamed, grabbing the plate and tossing it across the room._

_Frank narrowly dodged it._

_"I wished that I would've never had you!" Deanna's eyes were full of hate. "You're not worth a damn, and never will be."_

_\--_

Nikki sobbed. "Go away." He mumbled. 

"They can't get to you, baby. None of them can. I'm here, and nobody can hurt you while I'm here." 

And, like clockwork, Nikki's bright green eyes opened, and they were glistening with unsaid tears. A choked scream caught in his throat as he stared at the wall, mouth open, gasping for breathe. There was a scratch mark on his neck from his clawing. 

Mick brushed away Nikki's bangs. "It was just a nightmare." He repeated, lowering his hands so he could wipe away the tears that were making their way down Nikki's face and the edges of his cheekbones. 

"No." Nikki closed his eyes again, burying his face against Mick's neck, risking his dignity for that moment of comfort. "It was a memory." 


End file.
